I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize