this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
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It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize