Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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