he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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