just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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