I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Everything about him screamed your future.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize