I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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