Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize