Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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