yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
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Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
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One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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