What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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