if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
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