I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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