OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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