That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
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And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
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I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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