Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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