he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
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