i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize