Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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