I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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