If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize