Clothes are such an inconvenience.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize