Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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