just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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