I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I love you. Go after that dick
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize