after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize