I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
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I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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