It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
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