so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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