I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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