Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize