Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize