I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
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