....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
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You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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