He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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