god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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