we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize