it's not cheating when I paid for it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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