Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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