real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
All the doctor said was why
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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