Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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