you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Randomize