I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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