So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize