What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
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you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
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Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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