Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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