I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize