He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
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I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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