Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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