i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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